Name: Raven
Location: Oologah, OK
Country: United States
Member Since: December 22, 2005
Number of Posts: 13444
Age/Gender: 38 / M
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Status: Single
Sexual Preference: Girls
Open To: Friends
About Me: I think Filter/Crystal Method said it best:

"I got the understanding of a 4 year old.
I got the peace of mind of a killer soul.
I got the rationale of a New York cop.
I got the patience of a chopping block."
Body Alterations: Only a single celtic knotwork tattoo on my left arm for now. Hopefully at least one or two more will be coming as money and time permit.
Favorite Bands: Depends on my mood. It changes from one day to the next. So for now I'll just list what comes to mind:
VNV Nation, :Wumpscut:, Haub jobb, Stromkern, Soil & Eclipse, Attrition, Blut Engel, Assemblage23, Project Pitchfork, Icon of Coil, Xorcist, Covenant, DIN FIV, Frontline Assembly, Skinny Puppy, KMFDM, Love Spirals Downwards, Soul Whirling Somewhere, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Lycia, Faith and the Muse, Current 93, TKK, Rosettastone, Dead Can Dance, Velvet Acid Christ, NIN, Tori Amos, The Cure, Coil, Dresden Dolls, And One, The The, Switchblade Symphony, My Scarlet Life, Tapping the Vein, Ophelia Burning, Tear Garden, Legendary Pink Dots, Clan of Xymox, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Not to mention some old school schtuff like The Damned, Virgin Prunes, Bauhaus, Joy Division, Human Drama. Just all depends on my mood. And just to throw in a few things from left field, anyone who says they don't like David Sanborn, Spyro Gyra or Sting will get whacked in the head with my giant Slim Jim of DOOM!!!
Favorite Books/Authors: Pretty much the same as music. My favorite authors/books just depends on what I'm in the mood for this month.
Poppy Z. Brite, Anne Rice, Harlan Ellison, Neil Gaiman, Robert Jordan, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Stephen R. Donaldson, Harlan Ellison, Joyce Carol Oates, Elizabeth Kostova, Laurell K Hamiliton. Did I mention Harlan Ellison?
Pays The Bills: Go to a warm safe place... go to a warm safe place... go to a warm safe place...
Things I like: Shiny objects (Us ravens are suckers for them), spending time at my favorite coffee shop people watching, a good glass of red wine with a good book, remodeling my place, candles everywhere, blogging... and flowers.... lots and lots and lots of flowers



Things I hate: gangsta rap, having to listen to YOUR music when I'm sitting in MY car. Easy listening music.... there's nothing at all easy about listening to it.
People who send me friend requests before they even know me. This isn't MySpace and I don't care how long my friends list is... and I care even less about how long yours is.
50 Friends
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Posted: 12/09/08 at 07:39 AM  RSS
Dear Santa.... Fuck you!!!!!!
As found in my post on the Dear Santa thread in the forums.  And to give credit where it's due, somewhat inspired by . 

    Dear Santa,

   Next time, have the fucking politeness to pick up after your reindeer!!! I swear to fucking Bob, if I come out on Christmas morning again this year and find half a dozen steaming piles of reindeer shit on my roof again, I'm gonna break out the shotgun and the meat dehydrator and make me some fucking reindeer beef jerky!!!  And I might just leave a thin coat of Astroglide on the roof.
     And don't try to give me any crap about how I should just be grateful for the presents you left either. If you think the fucking Britney Spears CD that no one wanted and a cheap ipod scratch protector make up for the mess your little bastards left last year. I hate Britney Spears and I have an ipod Nano, not a regular ipod. Who the fuck are you paying to do your intelligence work these days anyway?
    Do you have any idea what kind of mess it makes when you get a good hard rain with a dozen piles of shit on your roof? And don't fucking think I didn't notice that there were only 8 Guinness left in the fridge last Christmas when I know for a fact there was 12 the night before. No fucking wonder you can't get any gifts right when you're fucking tanked all night long on stolen beer!!!  You couldn't have just gotten your fill on the three trailers down the road and their Milwaukee's Best huh?  This year, you'll find at least 2 Guinness in my fridge spiked with industrial laxatives.  Raid my fridge again and we'll find out just how much that mystical bag of gifts of yours can REALLY hold.
    And on the subject of your questionable work force recruiting policies, where the fuck are you getting your reindeer these days?  Do you not any kind of try outs, not psych reviews, no cutting scores?  I suggest this year that you either castrate those fuckers or put them through some work place sensitivity training classes.  Hell, you could at least give them some shore leave or something.  Do you any idea the kind of emotion scarring I got last year when I stepped out on my front porch for a smoke and found 4 of those fuckers in my front yard.  3 of them humping my lighted reindeer display and the 4th one sitting to the side making Bow Chica bow wow noises.  Well this year I'm gonna have a little surprise waiting for your depraved team of fucktards.  The reindeer will be running on high voltage lines this year.  And at least 3 of them will "accidentally" have wiring shorts on them.  Personally, I don't care if they DO wander into my front yard for some R&R.  It'll just save me a few steps in the deer jerky making process.



First, Last and Always...
Your sworn enemy,
Raven
Mood: amused
Music: And One - Pray

(23 comments)
JeremyB  -  Photographer
 
Dayton, OH
28 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 08:03 AM 
lol Nice!
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 08:18 AM 
Yeah, I thought a bit of holiday cheer might be in order. 
DarlaDarkling  -  Model
 
Alexandria, VA
34 / F - Attached
Posted: 12/09/08 at 08:32 AM 
Dude - are you sure it's Santa and not Black Peter? Damn!
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 08:49 AM 
That's quite possible.  Either way, I'm rigging claymores on the roof this year. 


Edited By: Raven - 12/09/08 at 08:49 AM
DarlaDarkling  -  Model
 
Alexandria, VA
34 / F - Attached
Posted: 12/09/08 at 08:52 AM 
HA! Um, careful with that stuff, though. Maybe you need to rig the claymore to the reindeer ornaments instead? Unless, you know, you wanted a skylight.

You know I haven't even bothered with decorating for the holidays yet. I think- no wait, it's just been confirmed - I still have Halloween decorations up.
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 08:55 AM 
Not to worry.  I was actually a combat engineer in the Marine Corps (seriously), so rigging things like plastic explosives, claymores, shaped charges, etc., was my job.  Claymores are actually kind of a shaped charge and don't have a real powerful force of explosion directly above or below.  They do, however, have one hell of a back blast. 

and that's okay.  I've not done any decorating either.  Heck, I don't even own a Christmas tree.


Edited By: Raven - 12/09/08 at 08:57 AM
DarlaDarkling  -  Model
 
Alexandria, VA
34 / F - Attached
Posted: 12/09/08 at 07:00 PM 
Mr. Darkling is a combat engineer for the Army. "Sappers lead, snappers bleed!" lol. I'll probably get a spank now for not realizing that a claymore doesn't have a powerful explosion force above or below. er...oh. wait. I lost my train of thought after spanking. everything else after that word just went on auto pilot.

Oh yeah, xmas. I still have a devils head bust as my dining table centerpiece. I'm just gonna throw a santa hat on the bastard and call it done.
Gwindylyn  -  Model Liaison
 
San Rafael, CA
F - Open Marriage
Posted: 12/09/08 at 10:11 AM 

Ri-kun
 
Preston, MS
28 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 12:08 PM 
Funny, man.  But you insult the big man in red at your own peril.  As Harry Dresden once pointed out, summon Santa at your own risk!
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 12:32 PM 
I say bring it on.  I got all kinds of surprised in store for that boy if he tries raiding my beer stash again. 
Cypher
 
Somewhere, OK
F - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 12:20 PM 
Merry Christmas and jingle bells and be of good cheer!!!!  
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 12:31 PM 



Edited By: Raven - 12/09/08 at 12:33 PM
Cypher
 
Somewhere, OK
F - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 12:33 PM 
You freakin' wish!!!!!  

Hahaha!!! I see you edited!!!

Edited By: Cypher - 12/09/08 at 12:34 PM
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/12/08 at 08:52 PM 
:P
ChazStrummer
 
Cedartown, GA
44 / M - Single
Posted: 12/09/08 at 04:27 PM 
Milan  -  Model
 
Lethbridge, AB
23 / F - Attached
Posted: 12/10/08 at 12:30 AM 
ah that was awesome!
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/10/08 at 04:37 AM 

devilinme
 
Tallmadge, OH
43 / M - Other
Posted: 12/10/08 at 08:16 PM 
Haha... that's funny...
thejuanupsman
 
Hopkins, MN
42 / M - Married
Posted: 12/16/08 at 08:49 PM 
Somebody's getting a big lump of coal this year.
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/17/08 at 02:02 AM 
That's what I'm hoping for.  It's cheaper than the propane I'm using now to heat the house. 
thejuanupsman
 
Hopkins, MN
42 / M - Married
Posted: 12/25/08 at 06:19 PM 
Hope you had a Merry Christmas.
Raven
 
Oologah, OK
38 / M - Single
Posted: 12/26/08 at 02:22 AM 
It was nice in a way.  All's quiet on the western front now, so it's all good.  Hope yours was a nice one.
thejuanupsman
 
Hopkins, MN
42 / M - Married
Posted: 01/03/09 at 10:04 PM 
It was indeed. Uneventful but good. I think those are the best kind. Hope the New year is going well.