Deviant Nation : Member : Luxt

Name: Luxt

Last Activity: 01/16/08 at 10:36 PM

Location: Cheyenne, WY

Country: United States

Member Since: February 6, 2006

Number of Posts: 805

Age/Gender: 24 / F

Zodiac Sign: Capicorn

Status: Other

Sexual Preference: Boys & Girls

Open To: Friends

Body Alterations: 14g centre labret, 10g bottom lobe, 20g top lobe, 18g left nostril, 14g marilyn (or monroe, or madonna, or whatever the fuck they're called today...)

Favorite Bands: rammstein, tool, flogging molly, the mars volta, dropkick murphys, velvet acid christ, das ich, system of a down, sneaker pimps, meteors, NIN, jack johnson, ben harper, madeleine peyroux, perfect circle, my chemical romance, open hand, eisbrecher

Favorite Movies: moulin rouge, evil dead trilogy, fear and loathing, mullholland drive, hotel rowanda, rocky horror, eternal sunshine, the great gatsby, 4 rooms, lost in translation, badder santa, le grand bleu, madhouse, nightmare before xmas, henry and june, boondock saints

Favorite Books/Authors: the gashlycrumb tinies, 1984, better than sex, griffin and sabine, textbooks

Pays The Bills: pell grants, solicitation. no, really.

17 Friends

Page:

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VioletBehavior

JadeStarr

Maya

Posted: 11/15/07 at 11:54 PM

FUCKING CHRIST.

what the hell was i thinking??

i'm tired of school.

and i'm going to be in class till i'm dead.

i got accepted into nursing school. i don't really want to go. i don't want to be a nurse. but it's the best thing to do...it'll help me provide for my daughter while i'm working toward the things i really want.

but i'm not too sure what that is right now.

i think i want to go to medical school. well...that's not true. i KNOW i want to be a doctor. i'm just not sure i want to suffer that much to get there. i definitely don't want to be a clinician, i'd go into a joint MD/PhD program and get my doctorate in micro/molecular biology.

but that's medical school. and it's physical chemistry. which is the asshole of all the chemistries. it scares me.

or maybe i want to get my PhD in microbiology (still pchem but no medical school) and maybe a masters in terrorism studies or something and work on anti-bioterrorism stuff. the CDC pays out about 200k/year for that.

or maybe forget the terrorism bit and just have a laid back university teaching job.

or maybe i just want a JOB that pays well and lets me do the things i want to do AFTER work. i got heavily back into ballet when i realized how heavily i was standing on my bathroom scale, so now i spend at least 10 hours per week in my pointe shoes. FUCK i missed that. i'm back in the studio again, i'm teaching classes in exchange for taking classes. i forgot how much i love teaching...especially ballet.

fuck. i hate not knowing what to do with my life. last year i was SO SURE that i wanted to be a doctor. and i do...but i don't think i want to spend four years of my life (JUST for the MD, not the PhD too) plunging into several hundred thousand dollars worth of student loan debts earning one of the most coveted degrees in the world only to work for barely minimum wage, years of verbal abuse, and only being called "doctor" when i've fucked something up.

it doesn't seem worth it. clinicians have it tough. and i think i'm too scholarly to give a damn about sick people.

i'm lost.

Mood:

confused

(6 comments)

matt_zodiak - Photographer

Los Angeles, CA

30 / M - Attached

Posted: 11/16/07 at 12:07 AM


	aaah school! .. tell me about it...

~~Hannibal~~ - Fine Artist

Austin, TX

M - Single

Posted: 11/16/07 at 03:29 AM

By Thor's short-n'-curlies, you're alive!

I thought you weren't ever coming back here.

Now for the serious stuff: Yes, you need to decide what you're gonna do with yourself, school-wise. But consider this:

1) Your decision doesn't have to be permanent. Changing careers is common; many people do it 2 or 3 times during their working lives. Whatever you decide on now, remember that you can always do something else later.

2) It would be helpful in deciding your major if you first decide what you value the most. Do you like helping people more than anything else? Or do you enjoy gathering knowledge, in which case you'd be more suited to a research-type job. If you like teaching most of all, then you could major in anything you want as long as there are classes to be taught in your chosen subject. Once you know what you value more than anything else, deciding on a major & a career will be easy.

While I'm on the soapbox, may I suggest you take advantage of career counselors. Just about every university in the nation has at least one & usually several. You're paying tuition already; why not use all the services offered? Schedule an appointment with a career counselor & tell him what you put in your blog here. He should be able to help you decide.

Edited By: Hannibal (Don't need a reason) - 11/16/07 at 03:31 AM

Lucisptera - Moderator

Austin, TX

26 / F - Attached

Posted: 11/16/07 at 06:09 AM

I totally know what you're doing there. Replace "nursing" with "teaching" and "microbiology" with "psychology" and you've got my life story. I did the teaching thing. I loved it and hated the system. I'm getting my massage license.

Weren't you doing asthetistitian school a while back? I remember something about makeup portfolios....

*hugs* I miss you, hon. I agree with hannibal that whatever you chose will not be permanent. Find something relatively quick, but that can support you, and then search for what makes you happy....If that's feasable, of course.

Krimsonnox

Austin, TX

F - Open Marriage

Posted: 11/18/07 at 09:09 AM


	i do bnothing so i have no real advice just pats on the back, it's hard to know whats best specially when all your decisions affect your child as i know they do. but i wanted to add my love ::

Raven

Oologah, OK

38 / M - Single

Posted: 11/18/07 at 11:09 AM


	Well I hope you can manage to figure out exactly what it is you want/need deary. Just remember, no matter how much money a job offers, if you don't like what you're doing, it will never be enough money to make it worth it. I wish you the best of luck, whatever field of studies you choose to pursue.

Deathside

Nottingham, J8

44 / M - Other

Posted: 06/18/08 at 11:24 AM


	I miss you - Please come back to DN