i blogged on myspace for the first time in i dont know how long tonight. I felt so tired of people using me and being used. And it seems as of late the only way to get ahold of all of my friends is via myspace....so i ranted away and this is what i wrote.....



"im so tired of feeling like i constantly give and give....
i give some of you everything i have, my time, energy, advice, and emotions. I sit and patiently listen and advise when you're down, i tell you everything's going to be okay and help pick up the pieces when you're sad and hurt and alone, i listen to the mundane details of everyday life and never ask anything in return.
i dont expect you to ask about my day, or listen to me when my heart hurts, or when im tired after a long day at work and want to bitch. I give because i want to. Because it's the right thing to do, it's something i would want a friend to do for me. To have a friend you have to be a friend.And this isn't to just one person it's to several people..... with that being said......

I am tired of people constantly taking from me. Taking little pieces from me and then expecting me not to get upset or offended when they act a certain way or treat me a certain way. I am so tired of feeling disposable and unapperciated, ecspecially by those people who i held close to me. By guys that i thought really cared and had my true friendship and best intrest in mind, when in all actuality a piece of ass (be it mine, or someone else's) was really all they had in mind. I am not a cheap peice of ass, a quick lay, or a one night stand.

It hurts me to think that some of the people i held so close to me could be so shallow and self centered. I'd rather have gloria by my side and no one else than call some of you friends. Your self-centered ways will come back to haunt you. You cannot go through life hurting people and treating people the way that you do and expect to end up happy. You will be hurt in the end and you deserve every bit of it. Why do people do things to hurt you and spite you? Because you were hurtful and spiteful. Because you get what you deserve.

I am better than you.  I am better than your friendship. I am better than whatever pathetic excuse for a friendship i thought we had. and i'm ready to cut ties. And im not coming back for you, i dont need you. i dont need to talk to you. i dont have to IM you everyday. you can't guilt me into staying..you can't turn this around to make it my fault. YOU did this. YOU destroy the things around you. YOU have destroyed our friendship and all of you have destroyed a little piece of my heart that you never deserved in the first place.

Dont come to me next time you're let down, lonely, hurt, or upset. I can't be your fall back. I can't be the one to pick you up....not anymore...never again. This is me cutting ties. This is me saying goodbye.


 I cannot continue to care for people who don't deserve me.."


i must say i feel good saying it. but even though it's off my chest i haven't cut ties yet...that's the hard part. The part yet to come. And i'm not looking forward to it. But it must be done. No matter how much it hurts my heart. I cannot continue to be unapperciated by the people i thought were my friends