Media'Bad Director! No Latte for you!' Bad Movie WarningsRSS
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Kara
Lovettsville, VA
United States
Posts:   10164
Joined:   Nov 27, 05
Posted: 06/05/06 at 10:25 AM

Gods and Generals


I could not even bring myself to sit through 30 minutes of this movie. Having seen the movie trailer in the theater I thought this was going to be a phenomenal movie. However, so much of this movie is about the spiritual leanings, beliefs and prayers of the various generals and commanders I was quickly hoping the next battle scene would hurry up and arrive. Watch Gettysburg, it is way better and more about the history of the battle at least.



Haggard


I really wanted Haggard to be a good movie. All the Jackass guys are adorable and generally speaking, I like all the spin-off material. There are laugh-out-loud moments in the movie that are just totally wacky but this is just CKY and Jackassish antics, that don’t actually make up for the overall movie quality. This movie was painfully bad, I was falling asleep during it and ultimately turned if off before it was over. Ryan Dunn does a decent job in the lead role but most of the acting is pretty bad. The design and cinematography felt very art school film student-ish. As it was mostly done by our favorite CKYers. At times the movie has the look and feel of a music video, and while I love to watch Bam skate his occasional skating montages through the fill were I assume only to give the move a reputable length of 96 minutes. Unless you are only watching this to get a daily dose of the beautify CKY men, skip this one.

Silent Hill


I seriously wanted to get up and leave the theater after a short time it was that bad. But I toughed it out just to see the ending and endure along with the rest of our audience the groans and "what in the world?" moments. At least I wasn't alone in my groans. SPOILER WARNING: Overall the premise of the movie is very cool and unique. The effects were good and it used some really great techniques to get the dream-like state through to the audience. But the little girl's acting was poor, I cared none for the other characters except some crazy chick that came along for about 15 minutes in the movie. I felt the climax was eh; and the ending really left most of the audience annoyed to say the least. There were also a few GAPING holes in the tale, the one that bothered me mostly was the Sheriff. (why didn't he age?) I thought it was cool how the Husband sensed his wife's ghost around him and how things in the real world would move as she went through the area. I also like Sean Bean. When the cop made her appearance someone in the theater actually said out load "Who dresses like that?" It was priceless. My opinion was this movie was too long and boring to be worth seeing. There were some really neat and disgusting monsters, the cinematographic style and the dream-like quality of the filming, at times, was really unique and inspired. Effects and Cinematography Great! Story and acting forgettable and generally quite uninspired. Overall, most people I've run across have loved the film, and most movie critics felt it left much to be desired. This time I wish I'd listened to the few movie critic reviews I read, and saved my money.




perfectlydark
Speedwell, TN
United States
Posts:   3687
Joined:   Apr 20, 06
Posted: 06/05/06 at 10:28 AM
Bloodrayne ahhh I can't believe I rented it! Lots of blood squirting everywhere though. Ultraviolet pritty much sucked too.

Raven
Oologah, OK
United States
Posts:   12760
Joined:   Dec 22, 05
Posted: 06/05/06 at 11:11 AM
Kara said:


I felt the climax was eh; and the ending really left most of the audience annoyed to say the least.



Yeah, there's nothing worse than a dissapointing climax... especially if it's in front of an audience.


Kara
Lovettsville, VA
United States
Posts:   10164
Joined:   Nov 27, 05
Posted: 06/05/06 at 12:01 PM
Raven said:

Kara said:


I felt the climax was eh; and the ending really left most of the audience annoyed to say the least.






I wouldn't know about that. I generally have astounding climaxes in front of an audience.


I could keep going but I'll stop now.


TheySentYou
Fort Smith, AR
Posts:   86
Joined:   May 28, 06
Posted: 06/05/06 at 02:46 PM
i tried watching Thirteen last night. couldn't make it past 15 minutes. it was too fucking dumb and it felt like a Lifetime original movie. i want my five bucks back.

Alyak
Moderator
Thief River Falls, MN
United States
Posts:   21657
Joined:   Feb 17, 06
Posted: 06/05/06 at 03:20 PM

TheySentYou said:

i tried watching Thirteen last night. couldn't make it past 15 minutes. it was too fucking dumb and it felt like a Lifetime original movie. i want my five bucks back.


i liked thirteen.


nyssa
Columbia, SC
United States
Posts:   892
Joined:   Jun 09, 06
Posted: 06/10/06 at 04:19 AM
I liked thirteen too, but the first half hour of the movie doesn't even touch the actual subject material (drugs and sex and peer pressure). I mean, hell the first 15 mins was her and her mom fighting over typical 13 year old stuff like clothes and boys. No wonder you hated it.

Ping
Seattle, WA
Posts:   184
Joined:   Nov 29, 05
Posted: 06/12/06 at 11:00 PM
X-Men:It was so bad. I still don't know how Wolverine could keep his pants on when his skin was being blown to bits, but "logic" and this movie don't go together.
But the sonic boom/clappy mutant? So hot. She almost made it worthwhile. Almost.

I totally agree with adding Silent Hill to this list. It had some gorgeous visuals (again, those freaky nurses? Amazing), but it made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. I appreciate Bondage Cop, but don't really understand how she fits. The ending was utter crap. I don't know-did it make more sense to those of you who've played the game?

Edited by Ping on : 6/12/2006 11:03 PM

Rei
Photographer
San Diego, CA
United States
Posts:   4549
Joined:   Jun 09, 06
Posted: 01/01/08 at 10:18 PM
Here's an old thread that some how has gotten onto the "most active" with the last post in 2006.... though I didn't read threw the 7 pages so I'm not sure if it's been said but right off the top of my head I will say "Swimfan" should never have been made. Today saw part of "Just Married" and that was a train wreck.

AppleJax
Model
Regina, SK
Canada
Posts:   6624
Joined:   Jun 17, 06
Posted: 01/02/08 at 09:39 AM
My friend and I have tried to watch The 13th Warrior I think...7 times now? We've never been able to make it through before falling asleep.

nyssa
Columbia, SC
United States
Posts:   892
Joined:   Jun 09, 06
Posted: 01/03/08 at 05:59 AM
Napolean Dynamite

I have made it exactly 5 minutes past the credits. Every time I try to watch it I can feel my brain leaking out of my ears and my IQ taking drastic plunges.

Sarin
Mentor, OH
United States
Posts:   1878
Joined:   Mar 12, 08
Posted: 03/15/08 at 07:20 AM
I saw someone mention "Hell Comes to Frogtown".

See, "so bad they're good" movies shouldn't be on this list.
Movies like that are bad on purpose.
Like "Black Sheep" (No, not the one with Chris Farley and David Spade, that one's just bad. The other one, made in New Zealand, about genetically engineered zombie sheep) or the "Evil Dead" series, or anything by John Waters.

I mean, "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is a terrible movie, and yet at the same time a cinematic masterpiece.

Pretty much any B sci-fi or horror movie can fall into this category. Except John Waters films, of course. Those don't fall into ANY category.

And I've found, at least for me, that Henry Rollins having a bit part (usually involving being killed horribly), can turn a flaming piece of crap into movie gold. I Hank.

Sarin
Mentor, OH
United States
Posts:   1878
Joined:   Mar 12, 08
Posted: 03/15/08 at 07:51 AM
Kara said:



  1. Anaconda (1997) PG-13 Thrillers



  2. Antz (1998) PG Children & Family



  3. Armageddon (1998) PG-13 Action & Adventure



  4. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) Wu Hu Zang Long PG-13 Foreign



  5. Event Horizon (1997) R Horror



  6. Gods and Generals (2003) PG-13 Drama



  7. Grease 2 (1982) PG Comedy




  8. Harlem
    Nights (1989) R Comedy



  9. Highlander 2: Renegade Version (1990) R Sci-Fi & Fantasy



  10. I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988) R Comedy



  11. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) R Action & Adventure



  12. Last Action Hero (1993) PG-13 Action & Adventure



  13. The Matrix: Reloaded (2003) R Sci-Fi & Fantasy



  14. The Matrix: Revolutions (2003) R Sci-Fi & Fantasy



  15. McHale's Navy (1997)



  16. The Phantom of the Opera (1989) Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera



  17. Sound of Horror (1964) NR Horror



  18. Space Cowboys (2000) PG-13 Action & Adventure



  19. Throw Momma From the Train (1987) PG-13 Comedy



  20. Waterworld (1995)




Edited by Kara on : 12/5/2005 12:42 PM


I'm going to have to argue with you on a few of these.

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". I enjoy that genre of film, and I suppose if you didn't have an appreciation of it beforehand, you'd think the wire work was stupid and the acting was overly dramatic.

"Event Horizon". Sorry. One of my favorite movies ever. I can understand someone thinking it is terrible, but I love it.
"Kill Bill: Vol 2". True, it comes nowhere close to Volume 1. But these are the only two Quentin Tarantino written/directed movies I like. THERE I SAID IT, QUENTIN TARANTINO IS AN ARROGANT, OVERRATED DOUCHEBAG WHO IS SO FULL OF HIMSELF THAT HE HAS TO HAVE ROLES IN HIS OWN FILMS. AND THE ONLY REASON THE KILL BILL FILMS ARE ANY GOOD IS BECAUSE HE RIPPED OFF THE DIRECTING STYLES FROM OTHER FILMS HE LIKED.

Leila
Model
Worcester, MA
United States
Posts:   4803
Joined:   Nov 09, 05
Posted: 03/15/08 at 08:40 PM
The Sound of Music. I have tried to watch that movie maybe three times now and after like 15 mins of it I just want to kill myself.

Brainless
Village Idiot
Pitman, NJ
Posts:   2365
Joined:   Nov 22, 05
Posted: 03/16/08 at 01:07 PM
Sarin said:

THERE I SAID IT, QUENTIN TARANTINO IS AN ARROGANT, OVERRATED DOUCHEBAG WHO IS SO FULL OF HIMSELF THAT HE HAS TO HAVE ROLES IN HIS OWN FILMS. AND THE ONLY REASON THE KILL BILL FILMS ARE ANY GOOD IS BECAUSE HE RIPPED OFF THE DIRECTING STYLES FROM OTHER FILMS HE LIKED.


I can't buy that. The guy wrote four of the best dialogue driven movies that I've seen in a long time (Reservoir Dogs, True Romance, Natural Born Killers, and Pulp Fiction). The directing in Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown is outstanding. I certainly have no problem with him being in some of his own films, why not? Besides, If I could put myself into the dead nigger storage scene, I certainly would have.

Oh yeah, he was outstanding in the Muppet WIzard of Oz

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