- Haiku Tunnel
- Crash
- 200 Cigarettes
- Anger Management
- Mystic River
- S.F.W. (the winner, by far)
- Masked & Anonymous
- Vulgar
and so on.
The worst movie I almost sat all the way through was Wicker Park.
MWS... yeah thanks for reminding me of a few more, along with The Opposite of Sex (nevermind Christina Ricci looked Great in a black bikini), everyone will slam me for saying From Dusk Till Dawn but it's two stupid movies for the mere price of one, Lost Highway was AWFUL, I'll Say Anything we used to call "I'll Finance Anything" and there was no plot because something happened like they ran out of money mid-movie and spliced things together that made absolutely no sense, Sideways made me want to beat my television set and the video store rental clerk who persuaded me to see it, I once had to take a retarded 17 year old metal head to go see a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, they may have been on of the most painful moments of my life, Dreams of an Insomniac (so bad we forbid my roommate to ever watch it again, it was her favourite movie), I actually agree about Ray, and what the Hell was that Keanu Reeves movie where he was a fucking baseball coach. That was horrific.
And the Talented Mr Ripley had all the visual benefits of Jude Law, however, I nearly stopped being friends with the girl who insist we rent it. oooooh it was dreadful, so bad I can't even recall WHY I hated it so much.
No one likes Beaches except a few drag queens from Miami, Born Again Christians, and people in third world countries.
I really think Leprachaun in Space (#4 I think) is the worst movie, hands down of all time, superceding even Hell Comes to Frogtown (which had it's kitsch charm, and I would say I like it in a Kull sense, dude, Kull ruled). There's a scene where the space alien chick randomly rips her shirt open for cinematic effect in total non-sequitor and it's not really mentioned in the film. It just happens. However, I think Terms of Endearment might actually be more potently soul-deadening, not to mention, motherfucking insipid. Or was it Steel Magnolias? I can't keep the two straight but know they were both really unwatchable.
That I've actually sat in the lobby of the theater, versus watching them, when forced to go with friends, is sort of legendary. Like sometimes I'll wind up just talking to the popcorn guy I am so fucking bored in a movie. Or worse, falling asleep. I list the following movies as such:
Movies I've wandered around during after paying $ to see and/or slept through: Two If By Sea, Speed 2 (oh no, a boat, slowly meandering towards the shore for 2 hours), Showgirls (like everyone else), Species, You've Got Mail, the Butterfly Effect (notably bad), Not Just Another Teen Movie, and recently The Brothers Grimm. I also found myself asleep during Shakespeare In Love & Me, Myself, and Irene.
^^^^ i give up on getting the spacing right
Not ohhh Orlando Bloom Wiz 'Ere.
I thought of some more I hate.
Requiem for a Dream - Ridiculous, unrealistic BULLSHIT. Drugs are bad, kids. Bad, bad, bad. This movie was such a shitty propaganda film I questioned whether Nancy Reagan was the executive producer. And on a side note, if you're gonna make the insanely hot Jennifer Connelly play a whore, make it worth my while. Shit, even yawnfest House of Sand and Fog delivered more of her.
Buffalo '66 - Vincent Gallo is such a pretentious cunt. Every movie he makes is just a depressing downtrodden shitpile.
The Ring - I forgot this one in my earlier post. Did The Ring 2 make sense out of what was happening in the first one? Because that's the only reason there needed to be a sequel, to fill the holes in the writing logic. Oh a little girl gets pushed down a well, so of course her ghost winds up on a video tape? Was there an AV nerd at the bottom of the well?
Steel Magnolias - All I could think while sitting through this was "I hope this is the part where a nuclear missile strike happens and kills all these characters."
Big Fish - Great visuals but the story was awful. "I thought my dad was a liar, but it turns out he just greatly exaggerated everything that ever happened in his life to sound more interesting and make him seem like less of a selfish asshole. I'm so happy even though I have no idea who my father really is at all." What kind of moral is that?
2001 Space Odyssey - Yeah I'm sure all the art film douchebags will come out of the woodwork to bitch about this one, I don't care. This film sucks, like most of Kubrick's work. The most overrated director of all time. The original story from the book from what I know of it is quite interesting and had the potential to be a great movie and it was ruined by Kubricks inability to tell a story AT ALL. If you can make sense of it without reading the book or researching on the internet, congratulations, you're psychic. Also, Dr. Stranglove isn't funny, Clockwork Orange is boring once Alex goes to jail, A.I. was just a shitty version of Bladerunner, and Eyes Wide Shut was a waste of time.
Femme Fatale - Other than the unnecessary make-out scene with Rebecca Romijn and that hot model in the beginning this was just a sucky modern version of Body Double. De Palma is officially out of ideas.
House of 1000 corpses - Fuck off Rob Zombie. You're not a film maker. You're just a musician who used his notoriety to get his foot in the door to make a poorly shot rip-off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Last House on the Left. Get down on your hands and knees and beg J and Sean to reform White Zombie or get out of our lives forever.
Rockstar - Just plain terrible in every way.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there will be more.
