- The Secret Lives of Dentists
- Haiku Tunnel
- Crash
- 200 Cigarettes
- Anger Management
- Mystic River
- S.F.W. (the winner, by far)
- Masked & Anonymous
- Vulgar
and so on.
The one with Sandra Bullock (I've never seen the Cronenberg Crash).
Heehee, I lived with a guy who worked at a video store, and feel like I've seen every crappy movie under the sun.
I really think Leprachaun in Space (#4 I think) is the worst movie, hands down of all time, superceding even Hell Comes to Frogtown (which had it's kitsch charm, and I would say I like it in a Kull sense, dude, Kull ruled). There's a scene where the space alien chick randomly rips her shirt open for cinematic effect in total non-sequitor and it's not really mentioned in the film. It just happens. However, I think Terms of Endearment might actually be more potently soul-deadening, not to mention, motherfucking insipid. Or was it Steel Magnolias? I can't keep the two straight but know they were both really unwatchable.
That I've actually sat in the lobby of the theater, versus watching them, when forced to go with friends, is sort of legendary. Like sometimes I'll wind up just talking to the popcorn guy I am so fucking bored in a movie. Or worse, falling asleep. I list the following movies as such:
Movies I've wandered around during after paying $ to see and/or slept through: Two If By Sea, Speed 2 (oh no, a boat, slowly meandering towards the shore for 2 hours), Showgirls (like everyone else), Species, You've Got Mail, the Butterfly Effect (notably bad), Not Just Another Teen Movie, and recently The Brothers Grimm. I also found myself asleep during Shakespeare In Love & Me, Myself, and Irene.
On to my list...
Rosemary's baby - FUCK THAT MOVIE. 2 and a half hours of totally unfrightening chit-chat. Polanki should stick to what he does best, hitting on women on the way to his wife's funeral and raping teenagers.
The Grudge - was there a fucking plot to this movie? I waited 45 minutes for one to show up and then I just gave up and changed the channel.
Ray - Yeah Ray Charles lived an interesting life, surprise surprise. But The fact that every fucking hack critic keeps praising Jamie Foxx's performance and he won a god damn oscar makes me sick. He sounded like "The Waterboy" for fucks sake! I kept waiting for him to ask Coach Klein for some smack.
Beaches - Fuck Bette Midler and any of the assholes who would want to see her in a movie.
Higher Learning - John Singleton's career took a nosedive with this one and rightfully so. Most one-sided, racially biased bullshit ever to not be recognized as such. According to that movie the only good white people are the attractive women and long hair emasculated pussies. Any other is a racist and will shoot people with a sniper rifle. Insane. And stop hiring rappers to act.
Lost Highways - This movie makes no sense. If you think it does, you are wrong. It's stupid hacky bullshit. The only god qualities are the soundtrack and that part where Robert Loggia is yelling at that tailgater.
25th hour - Spike Lee sucks. I don't know how he got a reputation for being a good director, but it's undeserved.
Pretty woman - Give me a fucking break. And I hate Julia Roberts. And if you don't have the fucking guts to get naked on film, don't take a part that requires you to and thereby deprive some other actress of it who cares enough about her performance enough that she would. Horsefaced cunt.
Anything with Vin Diesel - That man's acting is so ham-fisted he ruins everything he's in, even if he didn't star in horribly written tripe. And yes I'm including Saving Private Ryan.
I'm done for now.
