Deviant Talk : Things you should never do in bed...RSS
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MissD
Aberdeen Proving Ground, MD
United States
Posts:   15768
Joined:   Jan 02, 06
Posted: 03/01/08 at 10:40 AM
GraveyardSally said:

LuLux said:

Oh No! The whole vomiting on the cock thing my B.friend has brought that up to! Or wanting me to sneeze while we are screwing just to see what it would feel like...



i sneezed mid-coitus and pushed his penis out. he said it hurt. i laughed.

Rilke
Portland, OR
United States
Posts:   509
Joined:   Aug 30, 07
Posted: 03/06/08 at 08:14 PM
poop. i did that once. accidentally. i don't want to talk about it.

Bathory
Bellaire, OH
United States
Posts:   12325
Joined:   Feb 09, 06
Posted: 03/11/08 at 07:32 PM
GraveyardSally said:

LuLux said:

Oh No! The whole vomiting on the cock thing my B.friend has brought that up to! Or wanting me to sneeze while we are screwing just to see what it would feel like...


i sneezed mid-coitus and pushed his penis out. he said it hurt. i laughed.


I just got the funniest picture in my head....

roscoe73
Eden, WI
United States
Posts:   6
Joined:   Mar 12, 08
Posted: 03/31/08 at 05:50 PM
Don't pull a Carl Spackler and yell "IT"S IN THE HOLE"

It will very quickly be "out of the hole"




Lol, it's funny now.

Geordie
Sydney, 02
Australia
Posts:   568
Joined:   Dec 09, 05
Posted: 04/05/08 at 06:23 AM
CJW said:

"Never ever pull a box of action figures out from under your bed and start playing with them, pretending her breasts are hills."

So, none of this action:



That cracked me up.


Void_Works
Aberdeen, T5
United Kingdom
Posts:   59
Joined:   Apr 30, 08
Posted: 04/30/08 at 09:24 AM
On the subject of phones... Don't have them anywhere near where you might end up during sex.

TWICE in the nearly 3 months we've been together we've ended up phoning ppl by rolling over the phone. I called my best mate and left a 10 minute voicemail (he deleted it without knowing what the fuck it was). She called her ex a few days ago... Dunno what came of that one.

I laughed tho :D

Sven
San Clemente, CA
United States
Posts:   189
Joined:   Apr 30, 08
Posted: 05/01/08 at 08:19 PM
auriethepixie said:

This goes for either partner: Don't ask the other if they're going to cum soon.

Also I read this story in a magazine a couple weeks ago, where this girl's boyfriend told her the first time they had sex that he would love it if she could exclaim things during sex. Well, he got on top of her and the first thing she screamed was, "I want you inside of me!" And he stopped and said, "Um. Babe, I am inside you."

So, yeah. I guess also never ask "are you in yet?" or just fail to recognize that his dick is so small you wouldn't even notice its presence banging you.



do girls sleep with guys whose dicks are so small they wouldn't feel them inside them?

Edited by Sven on : 5/1/2008 8:22 PM
added quote

Autumn
Model
Salt Lake City, UT
United States
Posts:   1175
Joined:   Apr 14, 08
Posted: 05/16/08 at 01:36 PM
"picking up the phone" agreed 100%!!!!!

Noxious
San Leandro, CA
United States
Posts:   2239
Joined:   Feb 05, 08
Posted: 05/17/08 at 02:25 AM
oh god wear socks (I TOTALLY BROKE THIS RULE UNAWARES...but then way too into the sex to worry about taking my socks off...damn i suck), answer your phone, become insecure-BIG TURN OFF!


Edited by Noxious on : 5/17/2008 2:27 AM

AlySin
Model
Daytona Beach, FL
United States
Posts:   785
Joined:   Jul 21, 08
Posted: 07/24/08 at 06:21 PM
I second the Hair Pulling!

And men, walk around the bed...not over your lady...my man dislocated my knee that way. It made me forget all about the orgasm.

MellyKitty
Model
Littleton, CO
United States
Posts:   500
Joined:   Aug 03, 08
Posted: 08/03/08 at 10:04 PM
My boy has farted when I was going down on him. I had a total MallRats moment and wanted to write him a long letter filled with obscure adjectives.

AppleJax
Model
Regina, SK
Canada
Posts:   6756
Joined:   Jun 17, 06
Posted: 08/03/08 at 11:10 PM
I sometimes will wear socks...if they're knee highs and I had a plaid skirt on when we started. Sometimes...with my jean skirt...I have my rainbow thigh highs on. If he wants em off, he'll take em off...that's how it works They can make good handles thought from time to time...

Nanachan
River Edge, NJ
United States
Posts:   2366
Joined:   Jan 28, 08
Posted: 08/05/08 at 11:39 AM
ever eat cookies in bed.
nope, mm mm

Jersey
Moderator
Jersey, 0
United Kingdom
Posts:   18648
Joined:   Dec 07, 05
Posted: 08/05/08 at 01:26 PM
shit the bed.

BriarRose
Daly City, CA
United States
Posts:   2946
Joined:   Dec 07, 07
Posted: 08/14/08 at 05:35 AM
WOAH!!!!!! who in the hell would do this?!?! haha

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